It's funny- back in March I was actually happy. Now I'm miserable- miserable being an understatement.

My brothers had accepted me yesterday...Tommy to the point where we could have a civilized, human being conversation, and Danny to the point where I had a long chat online, and didn't care whether not it was keeping me up or not. I truly miss the times this summer when we were rediculously close- watching Princess movies in dingy hotel rooms, stealing blue straws, drinking excessive amounts of peach jet tea. The times when we didn't have the crap of every day life to hinder ourselves. When we were free just to be the crazy Pensylvanians who say "nice" alot. And to meet people! To meet the most random people just- coming. They got in their cars and came...finding a way as they went. Losing our minds on the hill side- well, at least I did. On stage for candle lighting- using back stage a) for the honeybuckets; b) for the food; and c) as a short cut. And the infiniate beauty that surrounded us...

Ecclesiastes 6:10- "There is no use fighting with God over your destiny." 
                 But I'm not the one fighting...

James 1:2

As I slowly die- I'll bow out. 

Tis' Sad

I was cleaning- yes, cleaning- further proof of my newest discovered batch of insanity- and was trying on some of my old shirts. The sad part- I still fit into them. I still fit into shirts from 5th grade that are youth larges...it's scary really.

Danielle- you need to be really freaking proud of me. I ate a whole pint of icecream last night. A whole pint- except for the stuff that mealted. All by myself.  (<----ha- the "pleased" smily). Anyway so...I did the math later this morning. There was 280 calories in 1 serving, 4 servings total. That means I consumed 1120 calories of icecream. Tis' amazing- this is the girl who eats icecream like 3 times a year...

Yeah...so no one else may care about that- but I am pretty freaking proud of myself...

That is all.

I will not...(100x)

I will not scream like a little girl at every little thing when my mind fails to work. Kaputt.
I will not attack people in the hallways. Even if they do deserve it.
I will not rock out to scary ska music alone in my room. That's what the men in the closets are for.
I will not have a heated argument with myself, my food, or anything else inattimate. I can't help it if they don't understand.
I will not randomly press buttons and then cry when something strange happens. Stupid fingers.
I will not try to speak using complex words to avoid scenes of awkwardness. Uh...
I will not grunt back when someone grunts at me. They couldn't whistle I guess.
I will not secretly call my German teacher names behind her back. ...Frau Hitler...
I will not laugh hystarically at something not funny. Sometimes stupidity is funny...
I will not say fa-cade in my mind after sentense someone says. fa-cade.
I will not sing loudly to a song I don't know- no matter how compelling the urge. High School Musical at the Middle school.
I will not think I am James Bond. Bond- James Bond. *Misson impossible theme song*
I will not do white boy dances to emo, ska, jazz or classical music. Snowplow, sprinkler, etc. banned.